We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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