I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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