How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
