We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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