He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
