Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
