Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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