ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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