My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
