I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
