My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
When are your genitals available?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
