I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
