Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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