Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
