forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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