Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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