yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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