I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
