There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
