i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
