Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
