someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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