Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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