Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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