He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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