North Korea, Best Korea!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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