if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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