That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
