you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
