I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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