he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
high people should be assigned attendants
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
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