i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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