Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
