look no pants
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
