do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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