and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
