Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
