Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
