Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
