Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
