I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
