I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize