I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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