please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
