Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
this hospital has no fireball
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If I die, sorry about rent.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
