I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
