I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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