I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
