i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
