just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
