i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
